Chapter 28

Cilla stroked her fingers across the warm hard chest that was in front of her. Her fingers trailed down, tracing each ridge of muscle along his abs. His body was truly amazing. She pushed the blankets lower, marveling at the site before her. Even in sleep his body was hard, unrelenting. She stroked her fingers lightly over his thighs, wondering what it took for him to maintain this level of fitness.

Jon peeked through barely open eyes, watching what she was doing. She hadn’t ever openly explored before. When she lowered her mouth and her tongue flicked out to trace the ridge of his hip bone he had to will himself to remain still, not wanting her to know he was awake. When her warm breath ghosted over his now erect penis he couldn’t help the shiver. Cilla smiled without looking at him, “good morning.” She nibbled at his thigh, “sleep well?”

Jon chuckled, “good morning and yes, I did.” He toyed with her hair that was spread across his stomach, “enjoying yourself?” He was hoping she would take him in her mouth, but every time she got close she backed off. She turned and slid up his body, caressing him with her fingertips, “I was, is that all right?” She pressed a kiss to his chest, dragging her tongue up over his adam’s apple, stopping just a hair’s breadth from his mouth. He leaned slightly and touched his lips to hers, “it’s fine. Why’d you stop?” She shrugged her shoulders, “you woke up.”

He slid his hand down her back and caressed the smooth skin at her waist, “you could have kept going. I don’t mind.” Cilla watched Jon’s face and instinctively knew what he was getting at. She shifted her gaze, how could she explain this?

She moved to get up and he held her fast, “where’re you going?” He looked at her face, the smile had faded and there was a wariness in her eyes. “What’s wrong Cilla?” She shook her head, “I just want to get up Jon, please.” Reluctantly he let her go. He sat up and watched as she slipped on her robe. “Come on Cil, talk to me. What’s going on?”

She paced from the door to the bed, trying to find a way to say the words. “I know what you wanted Jon and I just… I can’t do that.” She turned to leave and he grabbed her arm, “don’t walk away from me Cilla. Let’s talk about this.” She turned back but couldn’t bring herself to meet his gaze. “Look at me Cil.”

Hesitantly she brought her eyes to meet his, “what’s this all about Cil?” She felt her cheeks redden as she again tried to find the words to tell him. She buried her face in her hands, “do you have any idea how hard it is to sit here and tell you that I can’t give the man I… I’m involved with a blow job because my ex-husband told me I sucked at it?”

Jon just sat and stared at her for a minute. That’s what this is about? He reached for her hands and gently pulled them from her face. “Cilla.” She kept staring at the floor, not able to look at him. He patted the spot on the bed next to him, “if you’re not going to look at me, could you at least come sit next to me?” With a sigh she crawled up next to him, her head hanging down, her hair obscuring her face from him.

With a gentle hand Jon pushed her hair back and lifted her chin, “this isn’t a big deal baby.” She wrapped her hand around his wrist, “how can you say that? I saw how you reacted.” He tried not to smile, “we’ll get back to my reaction in a minute. If this relationship is going to work we need to be able to talk to each other Cilla.”

Hesitantly she raised her eyes to his. He wasn’t upset or angry, she found concern in the blue depths, concern and a hint of a smile. “I know we need to be able to talk, but this was just too weird a conversation for me.” Now Jon did smile, “apparently you’ve never talked with a four year old. I have weird conversations on a daily basis.”

Cilla laughed, “I bet you do but not like this one.” He wrapped his arms around her, “no, not like this, but weird just the same.” They sat quietly for a minute, “Cilla, you know I’d never force you to do anything you don’t want to do.” She rested her head against his shoulder, “I know. And it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just, what if you don’t… what if he was right, what if I really am bad at it?” Jon looked down at her, stroking her cheek with a finger, “why don’t you let me be the judge of that?” She leaned up and pressed her lips to his, “okay.”

Jon glanced at the clock and hugged her, “I’ve got to get going baby. I’ve got my kids today.” Cilla got off the bed, “do you have time for breakfast?” He stretched and stood, “unfortunately no baby I don’t. I’ve to get to Dot’s to pick up the kids and she and I need to talk.” Jon looked around for his clothes, forgetting they were strewn across the living room. “Where are my pants?” Cilla walked toward the door, “out here somewhere.” Jon smiled, “oh yeah.”

He followed her out of the room and found his pants on the floor by the table. She put on a pot of coffee as he found the rest of his clothes. When he came out of the bathroom she handed him a cup. “You can take this with you if you are in that much of a hurry.” He dropped a minty kiss on her lips, “thanks.” She went and took her turn in the bathroom and when she came back he was just setting his cup in the sink. “Sorry I have to leave like this Cil.” She walked with him to the door, “it’s okay. Have a good time with your kids. Call me later?” He pulled her close for a kiss, “count on it.”