Chapter 82

Cilla opened her eyes. The daylight had shifted, the room was darker now. What time was it? How long had she been asleep? She moved her legs and moaned quietly as she tried to find a more comfortable position. Sid was out of the chair like a shot. "Here sweetie, let me help you." He got her situated and sat back down, studying the face he knew nearly as well as his own. "You okay, in any pain?"

She nodded, "a little, but its not too bad right now."

"You sure? I can get the nurse to give you something."

She shook her head, "no, I'm all right.” She looked around, “where's Jon?" Her voice wavered. He had said he'd be there when she woke up. "Did he leave?" Maybe he had decided he didn't want to be here with her after all.

Sid patted her hand. "Relax. He had to take a leak and make a phone call."

She closed her eyes again. “Oh.” Relief washed through her. “How long have I been asleep?”

“A couple of hours. I thought you weren’t going to tell him.” He had been truly surprised to find Jon at the hospital already when he had arrived.

She opened her eyes and looked over to the door and then at him. “I wasn’t.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What changed your mind?”

“I saw him.” She explained about Jon stopping Friday morning and of their conversation in her kitchen. “He caught me before I had time to figure out how not to tell him.” She sighed. “He could tell just by looking at me that something was wrong. I guess I need to work on my poker face.”

Sid opened his mouth to speak but stopped when Jon and Dr. Shortle walked in.

Jon walked over and pressed a kiss to Cilla’s temple. “How are you feeling?”

She tried to smile, “a bit like I’ve had my insides ripped out. You?”

Jon dropped his forehead to hers, “that wasn’t funny. Are you in any pain?”

When Cilla didn’t answer, the doctor stepped up, “are you in any pain?”

Jon moved to the far side of the bed and Cilla looked at the doctor. “Some; but it’s okay right now.”

She lifted the blankets and checked Cilla’s incision. The dressing needed to be changed. “I’ll have a nurse come in and change the dressing and bring you something for the pain. Do you think you’d like to try to eat something? I can have them bring you some clear broth, some jello.”

Cilla shook her head. She wanted to know what was going on with her. She didn’t care about eating right now. “Maybe just something to drink. And could you tell me what’s going on. What happens now?”

Dr. Shortle looked at the two men on the other side of the bed and then at Cilla. “We had to do the hysterectomy.”

Cilla felt Jon’s hand close over hers. “I know.” As much as she hadn’t wanted to tell him about any of this, she was glad he was here.

She continued, “right now we’re waiting on the lab for the staging results. Once we know what stage your cancer is at we can determine the best treatment. I’m going to schedule an MRI for tomorrow. I want to make sure this hasn’t spread. I also think transferring you to Sloan Kettering might be a good idea. They are better equipped to handle the treatment you’ll need.”

Cilla nodded, “okay, if you think that’s best.”

Dr. Shortle made a note on her chart, “I do. You can get the best care over there. Dr. Carol Aghajanian is the chief of gynecological and medical oncology over there. She will take good care of you.”

The doctor left and a nurse showed up. She changed Cilla’s bandages, checked her temperature and blood pressure. Marking the chart she gathered her things. “I’ll be right back with your pain medicine.”

“Okay.”

The nurse left and Cilla turned to Sid and Jon. “You don’t have to stay with me. You guys can go home.” They had been there all day. She knew they had to be as tired as she was. Waiting wasn’t easy on any one. Besides, she had a lot to think about, decisions that needed to be made.

Jon shook his head. He wasn’t about to leave her alone to brood over all that the doctor had told her. “I’m not going anywhere Sweets. You’re stuck with me tonight.”

She turned her hand, lacing their fingers together. "You don't have to do that. I'm just going to sleep Jonny. You should just go home."

He wasn't going to be swayed. He had talked to Dorothea just so she wasn't taken by surprise if there should be some mention of him being at the hospital. He had tried to clear his calendar, but the parade in Philadelphia was tomorrow and he couldn’t miss that, but otherwise, he was hers. "So sleep." He picked up the remote for the television. "There's probably a ball game I can watch." He settled further in the chair, smiling when he found the release for the foot rest. "You rest all you need to Sweets. I'll just be right here."

She looked over at Sid for some help. She got none. Sid stood, "since you're all set here, I'm going to go. Mark and I will be back to see you tomorrow." He leaned over Cilla and kissed her cheek. "Be nice. He loves you and he's worried" he whispered before straightening. He looked across the bed at Jon. "Call me if you need anything."

Jon nodded and stood, "I'm sure we'll be fine." He held out his hand, "thanks man." Sid shook his hand and quietly left the room.

He settled himself back in the chair, reached for her hand again and put his feet up. “This isn’t half bad Sweets.”

She just shook her head. “Really you could just go home and stretch out on that huge couch of yours. Its got to be much more comfortable than that chair.” She really wanted to be alone to think about what was coming next. She knew from her mother and grandmother what the treatment would include. Chemotherapy and/or radiation. She wasn’t a fan of either option, but as far as she knew, there was no other treatment for cancer.

Sighing, she looked over at Jon. What would this do to them? Her dad had stood by her mom throughout her fight but that was different. They had been married forever when her mom was diagnosed. But her and Jon, their relationship was still so young. Would it bring them closer together or would it rip them apart? Maybe she shouldn’t have told him. Why didn’t she follow her first instinct and keep this to herself?

Jon shifted in the chair and looked over at her. “What is it baby? Are you okay?” There was something in the look on her face. Tears dotted her lashes and she was biting her lower lip.

“Where is the nurse? She was going to bring me something.” She wasn’t ready to tell Jon her fears yet.

As if she had spoken her into existence, the nurse appeared, syringe in hand. With a push of the plunger into her IV line, Cilla drifted off into a drug induced sleep.