Chapter 80

Slowing to a walk, Jon paused in front of Cilla’s shop. He had gone out for a run and, unconsciously, his route had brought him here. There were no lights on, the gate was down and locked. He couldn’t help the smile. He was going to see her in just a few hours. Somehow he had managed to convince her to accompany him, Steph and Jesse to New Orleans. Slipping his hand in his pocket he fingered the key he had absently grabbed along with his phone. He glanced at his watch. It wasn’t too early, she’d be up.

Following his heart around the corner he jogged up the now-familiar steps. Pausing, he shrugged and slipped the key into the lock. The smile on his face turned to a smirk when his own voice greeted him. He kept forgetting she was a fan.

Happiness, it's been no friend to me
But forever after ain't what it's all cracked up to be
Yeah, I had a taste, you were my fantasy
But I lost my faith when I hit reality
I don't need no guru to tell me what to do
When your feeling like a headline on
Yesterday's news

He crossed to her bedroom. She was still wrapped in her robe, her hair bundled up on her head. He sang out the chorus from the doorway.

Come on, come on, come on
Give me something for the pain
Give me something for the blues
Give me something for the pain when
I feel I've been danglin' from a hang-man's noose
Give me something I can use
To get me through the night
Make me feel all right,
Something like you

Cilla jumped and spun around. No! she nearly screamed. You can’t be here. I’m not ready yet. Unable to meet his eyes, she crossed the room and turned the sound down on the stereo. “Jonny." She fought to keep her voice steady. "You nearly gave me a heart attack. What are you doing here?”

His smile dimmed. This wasn't exactly the greeting he had been hoping for. "I was out for a run and ended up here." She looked flustered, out of sorts. "Are you okay Sweets?"

She nodded, "yes, I'm fine." Her eyes flitted around the room, landing on her night table. The papers from the doctor were still sitting there. "Do you want some coffee, some breakfast?" She needed to get him out of her room.

He caught her wrist as she tried to move past him. She wouldn’t look at him. Something was definitely wrong. “Tell me what’s got you all worked up baby.”

She looked up, finally meeting his eyes, “nothing, really. You just caught me by surprise is all. I’m fine.”

He wasn’t sure he believed her. Her eyes were steely and stormy, the shadows beneath were nearly the same color. He wanted to force her to talk but he knew that wouldn’t get him anywhere. He cupped her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb. She’d tell him if there was something really wrong, wouldn’t she? “You’re sure?”

She nodded. “I’m sure.” The lie left a vile taste in her mouth.

He pressed his lips to hers. “I missed you last week.”

She pulled back, “I missed you too.” She tugged him toward the door, “why don’t you wash up and then tell me about your trip over a cup of coffee?”

While he was in the bathroom Cilla hurried back to the bedroom, shoving the stack of papers in her bag before heading back to the kitchen. Standing at the sink as the coffee dripped into the pot, she dropped her head forward and closed her eyes. She couldn’t do this. He already knew something was bothering her. There was no way she could sit here with him and make small talk with this, this thing hanging over her head.

Lifting her head, she heaved out a breath. She had to tell him. She shook her head in resignation. Did Sid always have to be right?

Jon watched her. Her face was reflected in the window and he could see the inner battle she was waging with herself. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked quietly.

Startled, she shook her head and moved from the sink. “Coffee’s ready.” She got out cups and busied herself pouring coffee and arranging cinnamon rolls on a plate. Sitting down across from him at her little table in her tiny kitchen she pasted on a smile. “Tell me about Greece.”

Jon picked up his cup. Why wouldn’t she talk to him? Taking a sip he studied her across the table. Maybe if he told her what she wanted to know, she would return the favor. So, he talked. He told her about the pristine beaches. He spoke of the yacht they had spent the better part of the week on. He smiled when he talked about the kids. While he talked he watched her, looking for some sign that she was ready to tell him what was bothering her.

"So" he finished up, "that was my week." He picked at a cinnamon roll. "How was yours? What did you do?" There. He gave her the opening. Hopefully she would take it.

Cilla turned the mug in her hands. He was tan, he was rested. He'd just come back from a wonderful vacation and they were supposed to leave in a few hours for New Orleans. How could she give him this news now? She stood and put her empty cup in the sink.

Jon watched her. "Did something happen with you and Sid?" He was at an utter loss as to what could possibly have her acting like this.

She kept her back to him and shook her head. "No. Sid is fine. We're fine."

Jon stood and moved up behind her, resting his hands lightly on her shoulders. He was beginning to wonder if she was going to end things with him. He didn't think he could handle that. "Talk to me Cil. Whatever it is we'll deal with it together."

Reaching up she covered his hand with hers, drawing on his strength to help her. "I went to the doctor the other day. She found a mass behind my pelvis and smaller ones on my ovaries. I need to have surgery this week. She thinks" she paused and squeezed his hand. "She thinks it could be cancer."

Jon turned her around and held her close. No! his brain screamed. This couldn't be. No wonder she was so out of sorts. She had been alone when she had gotten this news. And where had he been? On the beach working on his tan. Fuck! She had to be terrified. He should have been here with her.

She started to tremble and he held on tighter. Wrapping her arms around him she pressed her face to his chest. "I'm scared Jonny. I'm so scared."

He pressed his lips to the top of her head. "I know baby. I know." He mentally ran through his upcoming schedule. "When is your surgery?" He would move heaven and earth if he had to, but he would be there with her.