Author's Note...

Here it is, we've come to the end of Cilla and Jon's journey. I want to thank everyone who stopped by to read and, whether you left a comment or not, you were the ones who kept me going, kept me writing.

So, 132,000+ words and two years later, here is the Epilogue.

Epilogue

Seven Months later...

His knee bounced nervously as he looked around and back down the row he was sitting in. Normally being alone at a function didn’t bother him, he was used to being the center of attention, hell that’s how he made his living.  But today, this crowd was just a little different than what he was used to. The men outnumbered the women today by at least two to one and he was feeling more and more like a piece of meat with every minute that passed.  He didn’t even see Cilla; hadn’t seen her since she left him that morning with her dress in one hand and her make-up bag in the other.  

He looked around again.  The outside patio area was tastefully decorated with flowers in pots and baskets and tiny white lights woven through the trees and shrubs.  The weather couldn’t have been more perfect for an outside affair.  Mother Nature had sent a sky as blue as his eyes and she had dressed the trees in their autumn best gold, crimson and russet for this special day.  The seventy-five chairs that dotted the terrace told him that it was going to be a small, intimate affair and this little Inn in Connecticut was the perfect setting.

The shuffling of chairs at the end of the row had him turning.   “It’s about time you got here.”  He smiled and shook his friend’s hand.  “Where the hell have you been?”

Richie smiled and shook Jon’s hand.  “Sorry man.  Got held up at ma’s.”

Jon extended his hand past Richie to the woman who trailed behind.  “Hey Jennie.  Don’t you look beautiful.”

She let go of Richie’s hand to take his and leaned in to buss his cheek.  “Thank you.”

“How’s Abby?”

Jennie smiled, looking more relieved, more at peace today than at other time since Jon had met her.  She gripped Richie’s hand again as she spoke.  “She’s in remission and loving spending time with Ava and Grandma Joan.”

Jon grinned, a wave of relief rushed through him.  He and Cilla and been waiting and wondering about Abby’s prognosis.  He couldn’t wait to tell Cilla.  “That’s the best news I’ve heard all day.”

Jennie smile up at Richie and then back at Jon.  “The best I’ve heard in months, except for you and Cilla.”

Jon smiled widely.  “You’re both coming, right?”

Richie nodded, “you know we wouldn’t miss it man.”

The music started and they turned to face the doors leading from the Inn to the terrace.  Jon craned his head around looking for a glimpse of her.  She stepped into the doorway and he couldn’t breathe.  She was stunning.  Her dress was a deep crimson, the color of the leaves on the trees.  It draped slightly in the front and fit close, hugging her slender form from breast to ankle.  The slit up the right gave him a teasing glimpse of a creamy leg and a sexy stiletto heel.  He dragged his gaze to her face.  He couldn’t help but smile as he raised his camera.

She was absolutely radiant today.  There was no more surgical mask covering half her face to protect her from any little germ that could have had her sick in an instant; the dark shadows that had haunted her eyes for months were gone.  Her hair had started to grow back.  It was still as short as a boy’s, even shorter than his, but it was hers and it was still the pretty deep chocolate that it had been a year before.

As she drew closer to him he unconsciously held out his hand.  He just needed that little bit of contact, just her fingers, something.   Her hand drifted lightly over his, a slight squeeze of his fingers and she was moving past him.  He watched her walk away, his eyes nearly dropping to the ground; the back of her dress dipped low, to the top of the curling scrollwork of her tattoo.  He groaned quietly, there was no way she was able to wear a bra in that dress.  He looked up at her and she smiled slyly at him before turning and waiting for her friend and his groom.  He shook his head, she knew what she was doing and he prayed for the strength to get through the day.

He turned his attention back to the make-shift altar and watched as her best friend married the man of his dreams.  The ceremony was as quirky and refined as the two men who were now joined in matrimony forever.

In just two short months, on an island that boasted sun and sand even in the winter, that would be him and Cilla.

The crowd worked their way back inside, congratulating the men on their nuptials and Jon sought out his girl.  She was at the bar, her back to him as she waited for her drink.  He slid his fingertips up the creamy expanse of her back, scraping his short nails lightly across her nape.  “Hey Beautiful.”

She turned, a smile wreathing her face. “Hey yourself handsome.”

He smiled back at her and tugged her close, “you look amazing Sweets.”

She tilted her head up, pressing her lips lightly to his, “thank you.  Sid did a great job with the dress, don’t you think?”

Jon nodded, as his fingers trailed up and down her spine, “yeah, but I don’t think it would look half as good on him as it does on you.”  That got him the laugh he was looking for.  “I have some news.”

“What?”

He told her about Abby and watched as tears gathered and sparkled on her lashes.  “I’m so happy to hear that.  I need to find Jennie and talk to her.”  She started to twist away but he didn’t let go.

“Just a minute Sweets.”

She turned her eyes back to his.  “What is it?”

He held her gaze.  He hadn’t seen her all day.  He wanted just a minute or two before she had to be off doing her best girl duties for Sid.  He just needed to be with her even if it was only for a fleeting moment.   “Dance with me.  This is our song.”

She cocked her head and listened, a soft smile playing across her lips.  Someone had queued up Frank Sinatra and it was indeed the song they had first danced to on a different terrace, more than a year before.  She let herself be swept into his strong arms as they swayed in a lazy circle in their little corner of the bar.

He couldn’t stop looking at her.  She had fought a fight that seemed impossible to win, one he wouldn’t want to fight himself, but she had done it and won.  Now it was time to move on, look ahead to their future and making their sweetest dreams come true.

Chapter 111

Cilla closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. Would this day ever end? She was supposed to be working on the design for Sid and Mark’s cake, but she couldn’t concentrate. She kept looking at the clock, begging the hands to move faster. Today was the day. Today she would find out if the chemo worked, if she had beaten the monster that had tried to take over her body.

She glanced at the clock again. Thirty seconds had gone by. Damn it. She looked down at the sketch pad. There were doodles all over it, none of them looking even remotely close to resembling a cake. Ripping out the page she tried again to concentrate.

She looked up at the clock again. “Shit,” she muttered and tossed down her pencil. This was never going to work. She slid off the stool and pushed through the swinging door to the front. Sid was waiting on a customer and, at the other end of her newly expanded shop, Jennie was wiping down the coffee machine. Her customer base had doubled when she started offering coffee and a place to sit down to enjoy it. So she had a long talk with Jennie one afternoon, convincing her that she needed her help, just while Abby was in school. Jennie had gratefully accepted the offer. Cilla headed toward the woman. “Is there any coffee left?”

Jennie nodded, “sure, let me get you a mug.” She poured Cilla her coffee and handed her the steaming mug. “Are you okay?”

Cilla nodded as she sipped. “Just can’t seem to concentrate on anything other than the clock today.”

“I know that feeling. What time’s your appointment?” She and Sid both knew that today was a big day for Cilla. “Is Jon going with you?”

Cilla looked to the clock. Not soon enough. “Four thirty. And no, he’s not. He is in New Jersey celebrating his birthday with his kids. He’ll be back later tonight.”

Jennie frowned, that wasn’t good. What if she got bad news? “Do you want one of us to go with you?”

Cilla shook her head, she had started this by herself, she would finish it that way. “No, but thanks for the offer. I can handle this.” At Jennie’s doubtful expression she smiled. “Really, it’s okay. I’ll be fine. If the time would move along that is.”

It was only one o’clock now. She pushed back through the door to the kitchen. It was going to be a long afternoon.

~

“You’re sure?” Cilla looked warily at the doctor.

Dr. Aghajanian smiled reassuringly. “You’ll need to be checked every three months for the first year, but for now, yes. I’m quite sure.”

Cilla sat in the chair a moment longer, not quite able to process what she had just heard. Ever since she had come in the week before for her MRI and blood work, she was sure the results weren’t going to be what she wanted. Her luck had never been that good.

She couldn’t have been more wrong.

The doctor had just confirmed that the cancer was gone. There was always a chance it could come back, she had said. But for now, it looked like the chemo had done its job.

With a smile she stood, gathering up the paperwork the doctor had presented her with. “Thank you Dr. Aghajanian, thank you for everything.”

It was a much different feeling walking out of the doctor’s office today than it had been seven months ago when she first started this journey. Instead of stumbling blindly along the sidewalk looking for a way to escape, she hailed a cab with a gleeful shout. There would be no sad, scared tears today; only happy ones if any at all as she shared her news with the man that had been her rock and salvation for the last several months. Maybe now, after tonight, they could think about having some kind of future together now that there was a chance they could actually have one.

She watched the storefronts go by in a blur until one caught her eye. “Stop here,” she told the driver. She wasn’t going back to her own shop today, it would be closed up by now anyway and she didn’t want to chance running into Sid or Jennie. Jon needed to hear the news first. She decided to treat herself to something totally useless and fun. She perused the window before pulling open the door. She might even find something for Jon in here. It was his birthday after all. She had to buy the man a card or something.

Making a few more stops on her way, it was later than she anticipated when she got home. Jon hadn’t given her a specific time that he’d be back, but she hoped he wasn’t there yet. Funny she thought as she opened the door, his apartment had become home to her more than her own apartment. Setting two of her crackling sacks in the kitchen and leaving the lights burning low, she hurried up the stairs to Jon’s bedroom.

She was just adjusting her wig when she heard the beep of the alarm being reset. Glancing around the room she slipped the envelope on his pillow before hurrying to the stairs. Excitement coursed through her; he was finally home.

Her bare feet were silent on the carpet and then on the wood floor. Leaning against the door frame she watched as he set something down on the counter and then turned to the refrigerator. She smiled softly as she watched him grab a magnet and hang an obviously hand-drawn masterpiece in its place of honor.

“Romeo or Jake?”

He started and then turned. He hadn’t expected her to still be awake. He roamed her from head to foot. He was glad she was. Her camisole was black tonight and it stopped just above the waist of her low slung jeans. With her hands in her pockets, the waist dragged a little lower, teasing him with a peek at more black lace. He scanned back up to her face, her eyes were clear and bright and there was just a hint of a smile tugging at her lips. He smiled and moved toward her. “Romeo. It’s supposed to be me I think.”

She moved her head to look around him. “Hard to say from here.”

Stepping in front of her he slid his hands up her sides. She had gotten so thin in the last few months. Hopefully now that the chemo was done she’d put some weight back on. But she was still just as beautiful as the day he had first seen her. “Jakey made me that.” He angled his body to point at the ceramic object on the counter. “I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be an ashtray, but there’s no spot to hold a cigarette.”

The pride and amusement were evident in his voice. He loved his kids so very much. “So use it on the table in the foyer to catch your keys or something.”

He cupped her face in his hands, raising it slightly so he could catch her pretty mouth in a kiss. “That’s a great idea.”

She shrugged and smiled. “I have one occasionally.” Reaching up she combed her fingers through the hair at his temple. “You had a good time.”

“Yeah, but I’m ready for a little private adult party now.” He leered playfully at her as he stepped forward, moving her away from the kitchen and back toward the stairs.

“Well you just happen to be in luck.” She tugged on his hands as they mounted the stairs. “C’mon.”

He stopped her outside the bedroom door. Turning her to face him he slid her hair over her shoulder and stroked the soft, creamy skin. “Are you my present?”

Raising up on her toes she pressed her lips to his. “Partly.”

“Partly?” What did that mean?

She nodded as she opened the door. “The rest of your gift is in here.”

The room was bathed in a soft glow from the few candles she had lit and from the lamp on the bedside table. There was a plate of cheese and fruit in the sitting area along with a bottle of champagne chilling in anticipation.

Cilla led him to the settee. “I wasn’t sure if you’d even be hungry, but I thought we should at least have a toast.” She worked the cork, releasing it with a pop from the bottle. Moving to sit next to him she handed him a glass and clinked it with hers. “Happy Birthday Jonny.”

He watched her, there was something going on with her. Her eyes were a kaleidoscope of gray and blue and that smile teased her lips. “Thank you.” He sipped the golden bubbles, his eyes never leaving her face. “What is it Sweets? What’s going on with you tonight?”

She took his glass and set it on the table with hers. “I want to give you your present now. Okay?” At his nod she stood, dragging him up with her. “I’m pretty sure you’re going to like it.”

He dipped his head, finding her lips with his. He didn’t care what she had bought for him. She really didn’t have to get him anything. He had all he wanted right here. She was happy tonight and in an amorous mood. What more could he have asked for?

He slipped his hands around her waist, his fingers dipping into the waistband of her almost too loose jeans, caressing lightly before sliding down to cup her cheeks and drag her into him. With a slight push, the jeans slid down her thighs, pooling at her knees. Without taking his mouth from hers he backed her toward the bed, finally pulling his lips from her to sit her on the edge. Kneeling before her he pulled the denim from her legs and, with a gentle shove, had her lying back across the wide bed.

She got to her knees and walked to the edge of the bed. This couldn’t happen yet. He needed to see what was in that envelope first. “Jonny, wait.”

He had pulled his shirt off and his fingers stilled on his belt. “Wait for what Sweets, what’s wrong?”

She shook her head, “nothing, but you need to open your present, first.” She held out the envelope to him.

He looked quizzically at her. What was so important that it couldn’t wait another half hour or so? He looked at the envelope, only then noticing the address in the upper left corner. It was from her doctor’s office. His eyes flew to her face. The results, it had to be what was in the envelope. “When did you get this?” How long had she known something and not told him?

“I had my appointment this afternoon.”

His shoulders drooped. She had gone without him. Did that mean it was bad news? “Why didn’t you tell me it was today. I would have gone with you.”

She reached out to rest her hand on his arm. “You couldn’t have Jonny; you were with your kids today. But its okay, I managed by myself.”

There was that strong, independent woman he loved so much. He just wished that sometimes she would lean a little more on him. He looked down at the envelope again and then headed for his dresser. It didn’t matter one way or another to him what it said in there, but he wanted an answer from her about their future, no matter how long or short it may be.

“What are you doing?” He had walked away from her and was fishing around in his sock drawer for something. “Jonny, what are you looking for?”

His hand closed around the small black velvet box. “Got it.”

He came back the bed and with one hand he undid his belt and pushed his jeans to the floor, leaving him clad in the superman boxers she had given him for Valentine’s Day. Climbing on the bed, he knelt facing her. “Before I look in this envelope, I need to ask you something.” He held out the small box to her.

Looking down her eyes widened. “Wh-what is that?” He wasn’t supposed to be doing this now. He needed to know her prognosis first. She looked down at the box. Didn’t he?

He pried the box open and the pink diamond sparkled brightly even in the low light of the room. “I don’t care if we have one day, one year or a hundred years Sweets. I want you to be mine for however long our forever might be.” His gaze didn’t waiver from hers. “Marry me Sweets.”

Tears gathered in her eyes. He really didn’t care. He wanted her whether she was healthy or not. Smiling through her tears she reached out to stroke the pretty ring. “You may just get that hundred years.”

It was his turn to widen his eyes in surprise. She was okay? The chemo worked? “What did you say?” He wanted to make sure he heard her right.

Her fingers left the ring and moved to stroke his cheek. “I’m okay Jonny. The chemo did it’s job.”

Tears sprung unbidden to his eyes. He dropped the ring to the bed and wrapped her in his arms. Their forever looked a whole lot brighter now.

******

Chapter 110

Cilla stopped in front of the door and just stared for a long moment. The heavy gray metal door would take her into the dreaded room one last time.

Hopefully.

She couldn’t remember wanting anything more than she wanted this to be over and done with. She didn’t know how anyone went through this nightmare more than once. She didn’t intend on being a repeat customer.

Jon rested his hand on her shoulder, rubbing light circles at the nape of her neck. “You okay?” He knew she was ready for all this to be over. He was too. And, with any luck, the next six hours would be the end of it.

“Yeah. I guess. I just want this all to be over with.”

He squeezed her shoulder. “After today, it will be.”

She looked up over her shoulder at him. He sounded so sure about that. Did he know something she didn’t? “Your pretty mouth to God’s ear Jonny.” As the corners of that very talented mouth twitched, she pushed the door open. “Let’s get this over with.”

Sitting in her chair by the window she studied the man sitting in front of her. He was scratching furiously on the pad of paper in his lap; the pad hadn’t left his side since he had come back from California with Richie in tow. She was glad she had sent him out there. He had put up a huge fight about going, the stubborn man. But he had needed the break. He had been her rock for all these months and he never complained. At least not to her anyway. What had she done to deserve him? She asked herself that question nearly everyday and could never come up with an answer. All she knew was that she was glad he had been there through everything with her. She never would have gotten through this alone.

She drew her gaze from him to the window. The February sky was blindingly blue and the sun shone brightly. She hoped that was a good sign of things to come. She looked back over at Jon, the sunlight a halo around his now blonder head. She smiled gently. She remembered the day he had come home with that new color. To hide the grays he said. Dark hair, light hair, she didn’t care. It was just hair. Reaching up she slid her fingers under her hat and slipped it off her head. Hers was coming back finally. Would it still be dark like it was before?

Feeling her eyes on him, he looked up and smiled. She had taken off her hat and in the sunlight he could see the faint hint of peach fuzz on her head. Her hair was starting to come back. His eyes slid to her face, she looked a million miles away. What could she be thinking about? “Everything okay Sweets?”

She refocused her eyes, finding his all-knowing blue ones trained one her. “Yeah. Just thinking.” Had she ever thanked him for all he had done for her these last several months? His birthday was coming up quickly. Would she be able to give him what she wanted most?

He put his pencil and paper on the floor by his chair. “About what?”

Reaching out, she took both of his hands in hers. “You.”

He rubbed circles on the backs of her hands. “Me? What about me?”

Looking up, her gaze met his. “I don’t think I have ever told you thank you.”

“Thank you for what?” He was confused. What had he done that morning that she felt she needed to thank him for?

Letting go of one hand she slid her fingers across his jaw, cupping his cheek. He hadn’t shaved that morning and the stubble there scraped deliciously across the sensitive skin of her fingertips. “For being here with me for every one of these damn appointments. For holding my hand while I’m sicker than a dog afterwards. For putting up with all my crap moods. Just for being there for me through everything.” She looked up and gray met blue. “For loving me.” Her thumb stroked across his lower lip. “I don’t know what I did in this life to deserve you, but boy am I glad you ordered Steph’s birthday cake from me last year.”

Turning his head he kissed her fingers before moving to sit in the chair next to her. “You don’t have to thank me for anything Sweets.” Leaning in, he pressed his forehead to hers. “There isn’t anyplace else I’d be on Wednesdays and Saturdays. Any day for that matter. And for the record, I ordered that cake from Sid, not you.”

Cilla laughed and lifted her head slightly, pressing her lips to his. She started to say something and was cut off by the creak of the door opening.

“Miss Cilla!”

She turned and saw Abby standing there. She was smiling and had her hands on her hips. “You didn’t save my seat.” She turned to the man on Cilla’s left. “Mr. Jon you’re sittin’ in my chair.”

Jon snickered and kissed Cilla’s head before raising his hands in defense. “I’m sorry.”

She tapped her toe. “Are ya gonna move?”

Jennie came in with Richie following close behind. “Abby, be nice. You don’t talk to anyone like that.”

Abby dropped her head, “sorry Mr. Jon.” She raised her wide, pleading blue eyes to him. “Will you please move so I can sit next to Miss Cilla?”

Jon stood and picked the little girl up. Richie was right, she was a little firecracker. “Here” he set her in the chair he had just vacated, “I was just keeping it warm for you.”

Abby giggled. “Thanks!”

Leaving the girls to talk, he turned to Richie, “are you going to be all right here today?”

“Yeah. I think so. I brought my guitar. I thought we might get a little work done while we’re here.” Maybe if he was distracted he wouldn’t think about the last time he had been in a room like this.

Jon nodded. “I had the same thought. My notebook is over there on the floor. I had some ideas that I’ve been playing with.” Together they crossed to where Jon had left his things.

Cilla looked across at the two men; their heads were bent together going over something Jon had written. She didn’t miss Jon’s frown and the frantic erasing and crossing out he was doing. She smiled; he was ever the perfectionist, even in the beginning stages of a new song.

The feeling of a hand in hers had her turning her attention to the chair next to her. Abby was holding her hand while Nurse Mary attended to her. She smiled at the girl and then looked to her mother. “How’re you doing?”

Jennie smiled genuinely at Cilla. “So far so good today.”

It was good to see her smiling. “How’re things with Richie?”

Jennie’s smile got wider. “Good. Moving along slowly, but that’s okay. He’s a good man Cilla and he’s so good with Abby. She just adores him. I can’t tell you how surprised I was when he showed up at my place the other day. And to have him here, you can’t imagine what that means.” Jennie was a fan and she had seen what had happened to Richie when his dad had passed away. She hoped he wasn’t pushing himself too hard to be here for her and Abby.

Cilla knew it was a big step for him. “Just don’t get upset if he has to leave at some point. This can’t be easy for him.”

Jennie nodded. “I know and I told him that if that’s what he needed to do, it was okay.”

The time passed slowly as the girls talked and Jon and Richie worked. Abby dozed and Cilla watched as the three other adults shifted restlessly in their seats. It couldn’t be easy for any of them to sit still for so long. “Why don’t you all go get some lunch or take a walk or something? Abby and I will be fine on our own.” She stroked the sleeping girl’s head where it rested against her shoulder.

Jon and Richie looked almost relieved at her suggestion and Jennie looked pensive. “Are you sure you’re all right?” She really didn’t want to leave Abby alone, but she could use a little air, maybe a cup of coffee.

Cilla nodded, “yeah, go ahead. We’ll be fine.”

Richie tucked his guitar back into its case and took Jennie’s hand as they headed to the door. “We won’t be long.”

Cilla just waved them off. No reason they should have to be cooped up in this stuffy little room if they didn’t have to be. “Take your time. We’re not going anywhere.”

Bracing himself on the arms of her chair, Jon dipped down and pressed a kiss to her lips. “You sure you’re all right?”

She nodded, stroking the bulging muscles of his forearms. “Yeah.” A ghost of a smile played across her lips. “Will you do something for me?”

“What?” He would do anything for her, but just that hint of a smile had him a little leery.

Her hands slid up his arms, kneading his biceps. “I want you to relax. You’re too tense. Have a greasy cheeseburger and a heap of fries for lunch and then I want you to take Jennie and Richie to my shop. Tell Sid whatever the three of you want is on me.”

His brow furrowed. That was it? That was all she wanted? There had to be more to that smile than that.

“And?” He waited. He was sure there had to be something else.

She cocked her head to one side. “And what?”

“What else? What else do you want me to do?”

She shook her head. “Nothing. That was it.”

He dipped down for a kiss. “You sure?”

She pressed her lips to his once again. “Well,”

He grinned. “I had a feeling. What?”

She smiled. “You can bring something back from the shop for Abby. She might want something later or maybe tomorrow.”

He kissed the tip of her nose. “I don’t know about the cheeseburger and fries, but I’m sure it won’t be hard to twist Rich’s arm to get him to go to your shop. You’ve seen him around your cannolis.”

She smiled and gave him a gentle shove. “Go. Your friends are waiting.” He was stalling. “And stop worrying about me. I’m fine.”

He walked backward toward the door. She couldn’t make him stop worrying, but apparently he needed to do a better job of not letting it show. “We won’t be too long Sweets.”

She waved him off and laid her head back against the chair, her eyes sliding shut as the door clicked closed.

The room was still quiet when she opened her eyes an hour later. She’d had the most wonderful dream, but the male lead was no where to be seen.

Abby was paging through a book and looked up when Cilla moved. “Miss Cilla?”

Cilla stretched as best she could and turned. “What’s up Abby?”

“Where’s my mommy?” she asked on a near whine.

Taking a closer look, all thoughts of Jon fled. Abby didn’t look so good. “Are you all right sweetie?”

Nearly in tears, Abby shook her head. “I don’t feel good. Where’s my mommy?”

Cilla reached down for the plastic pan. “Here honey. Your mommy and Mr. Richie and Mr. Jon went to get something to eat. They should be back soon.”

Cilla’s eyes shifted furiously from the sick little girl to the door. She hoped to see one of them come through that door soon. She wasn’t feeling so great herself. Fishing in her bag for a napkin or a tissue, something to help wipe Abby up with, she didn’t hear the door open.

Jon watched her take care of Abby, ignoring the fact that she herself was nearly as green as the little girl she was trying to comfort. She had to be the strongest, most selfless woman he had ever met.

Slipping his hand in his pocket, he fingered the item he had bought weeks ago. The chemo had to work, she had to beat this. He didn’t want anything less than the rest of his life with her.