Chapter 99

Cilla studied herself in the mirror. Who was that woman staring back at her? She hardly recognized herself some days.

She picked up one of the bandanas Jon had given her, a pretty teal color, the color of ovarian cancer, and covered her head with it. It didn't much matter. She hadn’t only lost the hair on her head to this damn disease. Her eyebrows had gone as had her eye lashes. Stepping into her panties she glanced down, she had lost every bit of hair on her body. Every where.

Pulling first the camisole and then the sweater over her head she stepped into her jeans and looked at herself one last time. She reached for the pencil on the vanity and added some liner to her eyes. Picking up the shadow, she blended the colors, the smokiness enhancing the gray of her eyes. With the brow pencil she restored her eyebrows then, she added a little color to her cheeks. Pursing her lips she slicked on some colored gloss. Satisfied, she smiled. She looked nearly herself once more.

Stepping into her shoes, she grabbed the folder off the bed. She had a meeting to go to and she wanted to look over the information one last time. Sitting on the bench at the end of the bed she flipped through the papers again.

Gilda’s Club. One place she never thought she would ever be in need of. And she hadn’t even thought of it herself. Nope. Once again Jon had surprised her. He had given her all this information after they had come back from taking Jake and Romeo trick or treating. She smiled at the memory. That had been fun.

~

She had worked Halloween morning and, instead of going back to Jon’s to get ready, she had climbed the stairs to her much neglected apartment and laid out her outfit. The jeans she had dragged out from the back of the closet. They were old and faded with a rip in the knee and they actually fit snug to her frame. The tank was going to drive Jon nuts. She wasn’t wearing a bra with it and it hugged her mercilessly. With the black bandana on her head and the black leather jacket, she was just a pair of sunglasses away from being ready.

Or so she thought.

She was pretty sure she had a hot flash the minute she opened the door and saw him. His jeans were so tight she wondered if he could breathe and the denim shirt was buttoned over a white wife beater. The shady brady sat atop his head and a blue bandana adorned his neck. His boots were scarred and worn and a cigarette hung, unlit, from his lips. She had her very own cowboy to escort her through the streets of Jersey.

Catching her breath she smiled at him. “Howdy pardner.”

Jon smiled and tipped his hat. “Ma’am.”

Laughing at the horrible southern accent he tried to adopt, she stepped back so he could enter her apartment. “I just need to grab my jacket and I’ll be all set.”

He watched her move around the small room. Her jeans were snug and hugged every curve. Her tank top fit like a second skin and, he squinted, was that a tattoo on her arm? When she walked back into the room he noticed the black bandana on her head and the black leather jacket looked battered and well loved. “What are you supposed to be? And did you get a tattoo?”

She looked down at her bicep and then over at him. “It’s fake. It’ll wash off in about two days or so.” She slid the jacket on and turned to face him. “I opted for bad ass biker chick." She did a slow pirouette for him. "What do you think?"

“I think I’m sorry I don’t have my bike anymore.” He crossed to her and ran a hand over her butt before letting it slide higher around her middle. “You look great.” He groaned as his fingers brushed across her back. “You’re trying to kill me right. Where’s your bra?”

She smiled up at him and, taking the cigarette from him, pressed a kiss to his lips. “The top has one built in so I don’t need one.” She pressed herself against him. “Are you ready?”

Closing his eyes he rolled his hips against her. “What do you think?”

“I think we’d better go now before we end up not going at all.”

He sighed and released her, his body mourning the loss. “You’re right. We shouldn’t keep the monsters waiting.” He adjusted his hat and helped her on with her jacket.

~

That had been two weeks ago. So much was happening so fast. Expansion on her shop had started and would hopefully be finished by Christmas. She had a few more weeks of chemo to endure and hopefully that would be the end of it. A new President had been elected and Jon mentioned the other day that he wanted to go to the inauguration. Thanksgiving was fast approaching and now she was headed to a new member meeting at Gilda’s Club.

She also had a plan for her brainstorm, Cookies for the Cure, that she wanted to bring up to someone and today might just be the right day for that. It needed a little fine tuning, but she was ready to get a jump on it as soon as she could.

Glancing at the clock she couldn’t dawdle any longer. Heading down the stairs she found Jon sitting on a kitchen stool talking on his phone.

He held up a finger when she came into the room. “Okay, that’s fine. I look forward to it. Talk with you soon.” He smiled at her and reached for her hand. “You look like you’re ready to go out somewhere.” He noticed the folder in her other hand. “Time for your meeting?”

She nodded, “yeah. Wanna come with me?”

He shook his head. “I can’t. I’ve got a new song to learn.”

“For what?” She hadn’t realized he had any performances coming up.

“That was Jack.” He couldn’t stop the stupid grin as he spoke, he was too excited. “I’ve been invited to sing with Bettye Lavette during the inauguration festivities and then at the Commander in Chief Ball on inauguration night.”

Cilla’s smile matched his. “Really?! That’s fantastic Jonny. What song will you be singing?”

Standing, he walked with her to get her jacket from the closet. “A Change is Gonna Come.”

She slid her arm into her coat that he held for her. “The Sam Cooke song?” At his nod she went on. “Amazing. That’s a great song and perfect for the occasion.”

“I know. I’ve got a bit of practicing to do if I don’t want to embarrass myself. I’ve never sung this one before. But I promise we’ll go out to dinner when you get back and you can tell me all about how it went.” He dipped his head and touched his lips to hers. “Should I have had the car brought around?”

She shook her head and kissed him fully. “No, I’m going to walk. It’s only over on West Houston Street. I’ll be fine.”

Two hours later she was walking back through the door, more information in her folder and another appointment for the following week for a Customized Membership Plan. Even with all the information Jon had provided her, she hadn’t really understood the extent of what the club offered until she saw it for herself. She was surprised by all the programs, workshops, lectures and social activities.

From what she had seen that afternoon she had a whole new outlook on living with her cancer and gaining control over her well being. She learned a whole new language when it came to her cancer; a much more optimistic one than she had been hearing. It was amazing how a few words could make a difference on how she felt about everything she was going through.

She could hardly wait to go back and take Jon with her.




*author's note: the link above is for the Gilda's Club website. If you or someone you know is dealing with this disease, there is a lot of information to be found on this site.